You're My Kind of Climate
by mad-marquise
Summary: Mike The-Cool-Person wasn't oblivious; he was simply choosing to ignore just how obviously infatuated two of his flatmates were with one another because it was just a bit too weird for him to handle. Vyvyan/Rick; 50 snapshots of the joint lives of our two favorite alternative kids.


Recently became a huge 'Young Ones' fan (and, by extent, a fan of the rest of Ade and Rik's catalogue). The show is fantastic. It's like the Boosh before the Boosh was the Boosh and it definitely lives up to it's reputation as one of the best comedies of all time, imho. Decided to do a Vyvyan/Rick fic because it's practically canon in the show. It's a 50 sentence challenge (word set was found on squidge), and while there are arcs between some of the sentences, most of them are just loosely connected snapshots of Rik and Vyv's relationship. Worked really hard on this last weekend, and I'd meant to post it then but our internet connection was acting funky and wouldn't let me. So here it is now, and I hope y'all enjoy~

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**1. Vending**

"_Really_, Vyvyan, is it so hard to just shove the 50p in the machine for the hobnobs rather than trying to yank them out with your hands?"

**2. Cherish**

"'_A healthy relationship requires respect and compassion; you must learn to cherish your significant other―'_ _pfft_, me, cherish that lousy punk…hey, wait, that's actually rather bloody anarchic!"

**3. Condense**

When the share house had been destroyed for a third time, the foursome had been forced to condense into a miniscule, 2-bedroom flat, but Rick and Vyvyan found that they were _more_ than able to handle occupying the same room.

**4. Get Off**

Never in a million years would Vyvyan have expected to get off to that bastard Rick, but those twisted faces the anarchist was making as they tumbled around in the sheets were doing wonders for him.

**5. Timber**

"Vyvyan, I thought SPG was a hamster, not a bloody _beaver_, so how on earth is he cutting down all those trees?!"

**6. Dyed in the Wool Wolves**

"You can't go around killing wolves, you animal-abusing anarchist bastard – what d'you mean you're not, you just said you were dieing them – oh, you're giving them a girlie makeover, I get it."

**7. Booth**

Rick's kissing booth was a bust because he didn't receive a single customer – and no, Vyv didn't count, because he stole all Rick's change from the jar before planting one on him.

**8. Coffee**

"Now, Rick, I'm not making my own coffee, Mike's certainly not making my coffee, and Neil's not making my coffee because he's sick and I don't want him oozing nasty hippie bogies into my drink, so you have 10 seconds to go start making my damn coffee before I shove your head into the pot!"

**9. Ah, Crap**

These were the two words running collectively through both of their minds when they realized that they might actually get expelled from Scumbag this time around.

**10. Walking Talking Disaster**

At first, they each thought the other was useless, clueless, and lowest of the low- until they remembered that that position was already filled by a Mr. Jerzei Balowski.

**11. Stall**

The stall in the pub restroom really wasn't the most ideal location for a romantic reconciliation, and Rick knew that a lad of his level of sophistication deserved much better- however, sex was sex, and Vyvyan was most definitely delivering in that aspect.

**12. Engage**

Just because they were an item didn't mean they didn't still like to engage one another in a little brawling.

**13. Pregnant**

Rick had absolutely no idea how Vyvyan got knocked up or whom he'd gotten knocked up by, all he knew was that the baby was going to be _theirs_, now, and that they were going to be raised up to be a pretty little ginger anarchist.

**14. What a Waste**

"Of course I give a damn about the baby - it's in my stomach, isn't it - but I still think it's an absolute waste of good lager to dump it all down the drain to keep it from me; save the rest, it'll still be good in nine months!"

**15. Diner**

Rick was thoroughly surprised when Vyvyan dragged him through the entrance of a swanky diner for their first official date rather than the sleazy pub down the block.

**16. Sprint**

Vyvyan sprinted as fast as his platform Dr. Martens would take him down to the church, because he'd be damned if Rick chucked away everything they'd been building up together for years for some wide-eyed bird off the street.

**17. Weepy**

"You dumb bastard, Rick, I'm not weepy at all- obviously, I'm sweating from my eyes."

**18. Cold**

The sleeveless jean jacket didn't add much in the way of fending off the frozen winter breeze, but Rick appreciated the gesture all the same and pecked the corner of Vyvyan's mouth in thanks.

**19. I'm Done…Finished**

"There, my essay on the restrictiveness of the patriarchy is completed, Vyvyan; now I want you to tie me to the bed and have your wicked way with me."

**20. Freaked Out**

With how frequently Vyvyan enjoyed verbally and physically sparring SPG, Rick would have never guessed that the punk would be this freaked out about the hamster going missing.

**21. Ashamed**

"We have nothing to be ashamed of, poof- we're simply enjoying one another's company and anyone who doesn't like it can just sod off, can't they?"

**22. Moth**

They were as different as night and day, and yet, they were drawn to one another like moth to flame.

**23. Moaning**

Vyvyan often ranted about how grating Rick's voice could be after hearing him ramble incessantly all day, and yet, he never got tired of how that same voice sounded moaning incoherently beneath him in bed.

**24. Refuse**

"Aw, come now, Vyvyan, you know that beneath that steely punk exterior, you cannot refuse my boyish charms."

**25. Damn You**

"Damn you, Vyvyan, for being such a violent bastard of a human being and still keeping me coming back for more…"

**26. Evening Star**

He was never really one to enjoy nature – he preferred the telly to most things – but even Vyvyan had to admit that Rick was right about just how intriguing the stars were in the evening.

**27. Want**

The day had been long, the coursework had been hard, the students and teachers had been most foul to him, and all Rick wanted when he walked in the door that afternoon was to curl up with the one person in the world who readily crossed the fine line between hate and love with him.

**28. Cancel**

He was a punk and a loner, and that's the way it'd always been, so it shouldn't have hurt so much when the little girlie boy stood him up, but it did - and that terrified him.

**29. Ignore**

Vyvyan paid Rick back for the cancellation the next day by pretending he didn't exist so the bastard could have a taste of what he'd dished out.

**30. T-Shirt**

Surprisingly, clothing was the one thing that they hardly ever fought over- neither minded the other wearing their t-shirts or pins or bracelets out in public because they both liked the territorial message it sent.

**31. Lacerate**

It came in handy, having a med student for a boyfriend, as Rick tended to acquire numerous nasty contusions and lacerations at his weekly riots.

**32. Appointment**

"You know, the fact that you've never missed a dental appointment actually makes quite a lot of sense…sounds like that loony mother of yours did something right by you as a child, at least."

**33. Why**

"I don't know when, I don't know how, and I don't know _why_…but I think I like- I think I _care_- well, you're in my life for the time being, Rick, and I don't think I'll be kicking you out of it anytime in the near future."

**34. Complete Ass**

Rick might blame Vyvyan for his screw-ups, but everyone knew that Rick made himself look like a complete ass all on his own.

**35. Grim**

Maybe Vyvyan was a shit doctor, maybe Rick was a shit nurse, maybe SPG was too far gone, or maybe it was a mix of the three…one thing stood out clear, and that was the fact that the life of Vyvyan's pet was ticking away steadily.

**36. Infatuated**

Mike The-Cool-Person wasn't oblivious; he was simply choosing to ignore just how obviously infatuated two of his flatmates were with one another because it was just a bit too weird for him to handle.

**37. Fine Spun**

When it wasn't caked with gel and coated with spray, Vyvyan's hair was so sleek that Rick would compare it to finely spun silk.

**38. Candy**

Neither of them believed in the horrible Hallmark holiday that was St. Valentine's Day, but that didn't mean they didn't take advantage of the fact that it meant a lot of fantastic sweets were available for cheap at every shop and street corner.

**39. Joker**

No matter how terribly predictable the jokes were, Rick knew it was his duty as a boyfriend to rehearse Vyv's comedy act with him.

**40. Safe**

'We make a regular Bonnie and Clyde...except we're much, much sexier,' thought Rick, fear and adrenaline making his hair stand on end as he and Vyv emptied the contents of the bank safe into a large sack.

**41. Relax**

"'_Relax,'_ you say...how the bloody hell d'you expect me to relax when you're doing _that_ with your hand?!"

**42. Evergreen**

"Well, come on then, SPG, girlie pants over there won't have a false Christmas tree made by _'the establishment'_ so we'll have to go nick us a real one."

**43. Pencil**

"Vyvyan, you bastard, that was my special pencil, now what will I use to record my prose as the People's Poet?!"

**44. Contemplate**

There were times that Rick seriously contemplated taking their relationship a step further, and it was frightening to him, the idea that Vyv might honestly be his one and only.

**45. Emergency**

"Screw the ER, they'll only gouge us of what's left of our money - have you forgotten that I'm almost a doctor?"

**46. Force**

There was only one reason that Rick decided to join the police force alongside Neil, and that was so he could wear the uniform to do kinky roleplay with Vyvyan.

**47. Carpet**

"Oh, would you look at that...looks as though the carpet's covered in night crawlers, you'll probably have to stay here in bed with me until we can get Neil to sort it out in the morning..."

**48. Ready**

"Oi Rick, you complete _girl_, spending four and a half bloody hours in the bathroom, aren't you ready yet?"

**49. Lollipop**

'_Nothing but a dirty tease, that one is,'_ Vyvyan thought, biting his lip and watching Rick hollow his cheeks dramatically as he sucked on his ice lolly.

**50. I Love You**

Rick didn't expect Vyvyan to say the words, didn't expect himself to say the words, and wasn't entirely sure if either of them would ever be able to...they were both on exactly the same page with one another in their relationship, and they didn't really need any special words to confirm that.

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And that's it. Feedback (of any kind) is totes appreciated. Thanks for reading!


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